If You Can Only Work on One Thing, Work on Becoming a Top Tier Empath

Eny | The Pain Alchemist
Aug 24
3 min read

"If in this life you can only work on one thing, work on becoming a TOP TIER EMPATH. A top tier empath is the empath with boundaries and discernment."

I used to think being an empath was my superpower. And in many ways, it is. I feel deeply. I read rooms before anyone speaks. I know when something’s off before the first crack appears. But for most of my life, this “gift” felt more like a curse. Why? Because I was what I now call a bottom-barrel empath.

Bottom-barrel empaths are the ones who:

Say yes when everything inside them screams no.
Walk into companies for one role and end up doing four because “no one else can.”
Give clients work worth thousands for free because we’re nice.
Allow late payments, payment plans, or “I’ll pay you in two weeks” that never come through.
Help friends who’ve proven time and time again that they’d sell us for a discount if it benefited them.

Sound familiar? It was my life. Overgiving. Overworking. Overextending. All in the name of being “good” and “helpful.” All while draining myself to the bone.

But here’s the truth I didn’t want to admit: Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction. Empathy without discernment is chaos.

And here’s where it gets controversial: There is a hierarchy among empaths. Yes, I said it. Not all empaths are the same. Some of us are scraping the bottom of the barrel, and some are running the world.

The Hierarchy of Empaths (and Why It Matters)

I first came across this idea while listening to the audiobook Give and Take by Adam Grant. He talks about takers, matchers, and givers (empaths often fall into the giver category). And here’s the kicker: givers either sink to the bottom or rise to the very top. There’s no middle ground.

Takers climb fast but crash hard because people catch on.
Matchers play fair and stay safe.
Givers either get eaten alive or build empires.

The difference? Boundaries. Discernment. Strategy.

So yes, even among empaths, there’s a bottom tier and a top tier. And the difference is night and day.

Bottom-Barrel Empath vs. Top-Tier Empath

Bottom-Barrel Empath:
- Overworks. Undervalues themselves.
- Attracts users, manipulators, and chaos.
- Gives without thinking about sustainability.
- Mistakes being drained for being good.
Top-Tier Empath:
- Knows where their energy goes.
- Understands reciprocity is not selfish—it’s sacred.
- Has iron boundaries with a velvet touch.
- Practices discernment like their life depends on it (because it does).
- Makes money without guilt because they know their value and impact.

And here’s what shocked me the most: Some of the world’s most successful CEOs, founders, and leaders are top-tier empaths. They’re not the cold-hearted takers we imagine. They’re deeply intuitive, but they’ve mastered boundaries and strategy. They’ve built thriving businesses without sacrificing themselves.

Why I’m Obsessed With Becoming a Top-Tier Empath

Because I refuse to die broke and bitter, resenting the very gift God—or the universe—gave me.

For too long, I believed this lie:“If you’re an empath, you can’t make money without becoming a cold taker.” Wrong. Dead wrong.

The truth is: When an empath steps into boundaries and discernment, they become unstoppable. They don’t just survive. They thrive—financially, emotionally, spiritually.

So I started working on it. Here’s how:

5 Ways I’m Becoming a Top-Tier Empath (and Why You Should Too)

1. I stopped bleeding out for people who wouldn’t give me a Band-Aid. No more overextending. If you’re not invested in my well-being, I’m not sacrificing mine for yours.

2. I learned to smell snakes from a mile away. Discernment isn’t judgment—it’s wisdom. Not everyone crying in front of you is your responsibility. Some people cry because manipulation works.

3. I charge my worth—without apology. Free work? No. “Pay later”? Never again. My energy is a currency. Treat it like one.

4. I prioritize energy audits like my life depends on it. Every month, I check: Who drains me? Who fills me? Who’s neutral? If you’re a drain, you get cut off or managed.

5. I invest in becoming sharper. Therapy, mentorship, books, courses. Top-tier empaths don’t just feel—they think, they strategize, they move differently.