Radical Healing: The 3-Part Guide to Breaking Cycles When Gentle Healing Isn’t Enough

Eny | The Pain Alchemist
Oct 13
3 min read

Woman kneels in a misty forest, gazing upward with clasped hands, wearing a flowing beige dress, evoking a serene and hopeful mood.

For a long time, I thought healing meant being endlessly patient, endlessly gentle, endlessly understanding. But gentle healing kept me stuck.

It was the good girl in me who journaled about my wounds but never changed them. The overly understanding woman who kept taking my ex back because I believed too much in the good in people. The “nice friend” who laughed off jokes that cut deep, because I didn’t want to be seen as sensitive.

Gentle healing helped me survive — but it never set me free.

At some point, I had to admit: gentle healing wasn’t working anymore. That’s when I stepped into radical healing.

Radical healing is disruptive. It’s uncomfortable. It feels like death and rebirth at the same time. But it’s also the only way I broke the cycles that had me repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

Here’s my 3-part guide to radical healing: what it looks like, what you stop doing, and what you finally start.

Woman in white hoodie and headscarf holds a yellow leaf, gazing at a lake with autumn trees in the background. Calm and serene mood.

Part 1: 5 Signs You Need to Radicalize Healing

Gentle healing works for some seasons, but here are 5 signs it may no longer be enough for you:

The disrespect feels unbearable. What you once brushed off now feels intolerable.
You feel immense rage. Your body is screaming for boundaries louder than your mind can silence it.
You’re repeating the same cycles. Different faces, same pain.
You’ve outgrown the good girl mask. People-pleasing no longer feels sweet — it feels disgusting.
Comfort feels more dangerous than change. The thought of staying the same hurts more than the leap into the unknown.

If these resonate, you may be ready for radical healing.

Part 2: What You Stop Doing in Radical Healing

When you step into radical healing, some habits naturally fall away — not because they’re bad, but because they no longer serve you.

You stop journaling endlessly. Because there’s nothing left to over-analyze. The wound is clear — now it’s time to act.
You stop meditating to numb. Gentle healing kept you calm and waiting. Radical healing pushes you into movement.
You stop smiling for no reason. No more masking discomfort to keep others comfortable.

Radical healing isn’t about being softer. It’s about being truer.

Part 3: What You Start Doing in Radical Healing

As old habits die, new ones take root. Here’s what radical healing births in you:

You cut ties without apology. Not everyone deserves access to your healed self.
You say no, even when it shakes you.A shaky no honors you more than a steady yes that betrays you.
You create disruptive rituals. New habits that feed your healing, not your wounds.
You choose authenticity over approval. Being liked is no longer your highest currency.
You choose rebirth over comfort.Freedom lives on the other side of fear.

Closing Words

Gentle healing has its place — but sometimes, it’s not enough. Radical healing is for the moments when you’ve journaled, meditated, forgiven, and still find yourself repeating the same cycles.

It’s disruptive. It’s uncomfortable. It costs you old versions of yourself — the people-pleaser, the good girl, the overly understanding one.

But it also gives you back your freedom.

Radical healing isn’t cruelty. It’s the deepest form of self-love.